ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS

I’ll never forget how excited I was the day I graduated from high school.  Nothing could stop me; in three months I would be off to college, with so much freedom and opportunity ahead of me.  If only I could have been prepared for what was to come.  Two weeks after my high school graduation, my sister and I started noticing a change in my mom’s behavior.  She began forgetting small things like how to get to the drug store, what the date was, or where she had placed her glasses.  At first, we thought she was having an off day, but the symptoms continued and worsened as the days went on.  We decided to take her to the hospital and I remember one of the nurses asking her questions about where she was and why she was there, only to consistently receive the response “I don’t know.”  Within 48 hours, she had gone from a proud mother having watched her daughter receive her diploma two weeks prior, to a woman in the hospital not remembering her own birthday.   

That day, the doctors found a brain tumor in her left frontal lobe, the area of her brain that affects her memory and word recall.  After 13 hours of surgery, they removed as much as they could, but she was still left to battle the most invasive, malignant portion of the tumor.  I’ll always remember one of the first things my mom said to me after hearing the news that she had brain cancer; “It is what it is.”  That’s the kind of woman she is.  She could tell that the people around her were upset and worried, but instead of joining them in their fear, she was strong, and has been strong every day since. 

I never expected anything like this to happen to my family; no one does.  But it did, and it made me look at life in a completely different way.  It made me realize how short life is, and how nothing should be taken for granted.  I regret all of the times I fought with my mom about going out or about my grades, but I treasure even more the goods times we’ve had together.  I cherish the cookies she had waiting for me when I got home from school, all the lunches she packed for me, and all the times she helped me with my homework.  I cherish the family vacations we took, the family game nights we had, the walks in the park with my dog.  As Robert Brault once said, “Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” 

As her memory continues to quickly fade and her speech has become almost nonexistent, she remains strong.  I know deep down she’s scared, but she puts on a brave face.  She has taught me what it truly means to be courageous.  Not knowing what the future holds is one of the most frightening things in life, but she rarely shows any kind of fear.  She continues to wake up every morning to walk the dog and take care of the house, as if she is still leading a normal life.  I will never know what’s going through her mind every day, but from the outside, she exudes bravery. 

Not only has she taught me what courage is, she has taught me the importance of family and having that unbreakable support system.  For 18 years, my mom was there for me whenever I needed her, and now it’s time for my sister and me to be there for her.  Driving her to the grocery store, making her meals, keeping her company while she watches her favorite movies are things she has done for us our whole lives.  I took for granted the little things my mom did for us, and now that the roles are reversed, I’ve never been more grateful for those 18 years.  I couldn’t ask for a better mom, and every day that I spend with her, I realize how thankful I am to have someone as amazing as her in my life.  She has always been my biggest supporter, my role model, and my hero.  I hope and strive to be as incredible of a person as my mom. 

As hard as it is to be away from home, Relay for Life has given me a chance to make something positive out of something so negative.  Sometimes it’s hard to try to be happy all the time and go on with my days like nothing’s wrong while my mom’s in and out of the hospital.  But with Relay, I feel like I’m doing something to help her even while I’m at school.  The American Cancer Society provides millions of dollars a year to cancer research, with a large amount going to brain cancer research.  I’m not only relaying for my mom, but I’m relaying for the millions of people affected by cancer every day.  I want to help end the fight against cancer, and get people celebrating more birthdays.

With RelayLove, 

Allison Jaros '16

Publicity Committee

EVERYTHING

"Family is not an important thing. It's everything." ~ Michael J. Fox

What's the worst disease you can think of? For me, it's cancer. Almost any cell in your body can become cancerous and cancer can affect anyone. Sure, there are groups of people that are more likely to get certain types and there are things you can do that can increase your chances of developing cancer. But in the end, it could happen to anyone. According to the American Cancer Society, more than 1 million people in the United States get cancer each year.   Relay for Life, as a part of the ACS, helps raise money to fight cancer and most importantly, to find a cure for it. Who do you Relay for? It's a simple question but often receives a complicated answer.  My answer? I Relay for my family. My maternal grandfather died of colon cancer before I was born right after my mom finished college so I never got the chance to meet him. My uncle was diagnosed with leukemia in 2004 but fought it and went into remission for a few years. After that life was pretty normal until my junior year of high school. In a span of 4 months, my dad's sister, Aunt Brigid, was diagnosed with terminal metastatic melanoma in her brain, my father was diagnosed with a stage 4 glioblastoma, and then my aunt passed away from her cancer.

Those four months from January to April have blurred together and sometimes it's hard to remember exactly when everything happened.  Dad was diagnosed at the end of February/ early March and underwent his first craniotomy soon afterwards. Next, he started radiation and we went up to Baltimore for Aunt Brigid's wake. A few months later he moved on to chemotherapy. As a kid it's always hard when your parent is sick. It's a role reversal, you have to take care of them and try to help them feel better. Chemo extends that sickness for a whole year. It's hard to explain what it's like watching someone swell from steroids and radiation and then slowly waste away on chemo. It's a strange experience. 

The good news was that Dad responded well to the chemo treatments and the tumor stopped growing. He finished his last round a few weeks before I graduated high school so we had a double graduation party for the both of us. We were told that people who responded as well as Dad did usually lived another 10 years. This was great news to me. It meant that he would be there for my sister's high school graduation in 2 years and for both of our college graduations and maybe even weddings. Even though he was finished with chemo he still had to get PET scans every few months and send them down to his doctors at Duke. I went off to college and things and things seemed to return to normal until October of my first year at UVa. The latest PET scans showed that the tumor had started growing again and Dad had to have another craniotomy. After the surgery, we weren't sure if he would have to start a new round of chemo again or if there was a new plan of action. 

I came home for winter break on Friday December 17. Things seemed to be pretty normal, my parents had just gotten back from a doctor's appointment at Duke and my sister was excited that she was almost on winter break. On Saturday I when I woke up, my mom told my sister and I she had something to tell us.  As I walked through the kitchen to get to the living room I saw it. Sitting on the counter was a pamphlet for Home Hospice Care. I knew that whatever news we were about to hear wasn't good. My mom has been a nurse my whole life and I knew that hospice is end of life care.  My parents sat us down and told us that the doctors at Duke had told them that more chemo wasn't going to help and there was nothing more they could do. My dad had about 6-8 weeks left.  I was in shock.  6-8 weeks was not enough time.  I would be back at school without a car. How would I get back home if I needed to? We started talking about a plan and my mom told us the hospice nurse was coming later that afternoon.  That night we had trouble getting my dad up the stairs to his bed. He was very sore and it was hard for him to walk. My mom thought the soreness was from the car ride to Duke so we made up the pull out couch for my dad to sleep on. By the next day, things had escalated.  The nurse was back and she told us that the pain was probably from the tumor growing and spreading, wrapping around his spinal cord. My sister and I were upstairs wrapping Christmas presents when my mom told us that my dad's family was coming down and would be there later in the evening. All of them. We have a pretty big family, my dad was one of 8, and if all of them were coming on short notice, it was a big deal. It looked like my dad now only had about a week.  By the next morning things got even worse, the timeline had now shortened to a few hours. We started saying our goodbyes that afternoon and Tuesday morning around 3am, during the lunar eclipse, my dad finally passed away.

 I came home for Christmas thinking things were pretty normal. Maybe Dad would have to go back on chemo but he had been there and done that so we could handle it. Instead, I came home on a Friday and had lost my dad by Tuesday morning. I was totally unprepared. We were supposed to have 10 more years.

Last year Uncle Peter’s leukemia came back worse than ever. He went through trial treatments at the NIH but it was decided that the best way to treat it was with a bone marrow transplant.  My other uncles were tested and one was a full match and the other two were half matches.  Then, a week before the transplant Uncle Jimmy went to have one last check on his bone marrow to make sure everything was ok.  He found out a few days later that he was no longer a candidate for donation because they found a slow growing lymphoma in his scans.  He couldn’t help his younger brother.  The transplant had to be delayed so that the doctors could decide which of my other uncles would be the new donors.  During this time, Uncle Peter’s condition continued to worsen and finally passed away in early October.

Now I Relay to make sure that this doesn't happen to anyone else. I Relay so that no one else thinks they have beaten the disease only to find out a few months later that it's back, has metastasized, and is now terminal. So that no one else comes home after their first semester of college and loses a parent. So that no other families lose three siblings in five years. I Relay so that no other family has to go through what my family went through. So my question for you is this: Why do you Relay?

With Relaylove, 

Mollie McGee '14

Publicity Committee

ALEX & ANI: CHARITY BY DESIGN

This week we reached some pretty awesome milestones. Relay For Life at UVA officially has 100 teams, over 800 participants, and has raised over $70,000! 

And we aren't slowing down one bit. This Tuesday, February 18th, from 6-8PM Alex & Ani in Charlottesville (2050 Bond St, Suite 160) is holding a benefit night to support Relay For Life at UVA!

Because of how varied Alex & Ani's collections are, there is really something for anyone. You can find gifts for everyone you may need - be it you favorite Relay-obsessed friend, someone who always shows their Wahoo pride, or yourself!

 

Alex & Ani also has an extensive sorority collection - perfect for all the upcoming Big Sis Weeks here at UVA! Not only can you shop for your little at Alex & Ani, but check out our Big Sis Week fundraiser for more easy ways to spoil the newest addition to the fam!

The best part? Relay will have a check in table in-store during the fundraiser and the 15% donation will go to the fundraising total of the team with the most check-ins!

For more information be sure to check out our Facebook event!

With RelayLove, 

HOW TO: FUNDRAISE!

When signing up for Relay, many people worry about how they are going to fundraise. The American Cancer Society (ACS) asks each participant to try to raise $100, which helps to fund Cancer research, advocacy, education, and Programs. Reaching your personal and team fundraising goals can seem intimidating at first, but the Fundraising Committee of Relay For Life at UVA tries to make it as easy as possible. Our job is to help you set up Bake sales and Restaurant/Bar nights, promote your own fundraisers, and get you to participate in fundraisers we plan!

Although they seem very overdone, bake sales are a great way to raise money for Relay. Each Friday night, Relay teams host a bake sale on Beta Bridge. We encourage all teams to make their traditional bake goods, such as cookies, brownies, etc., but Relay gives your team $50 to spend on Pizza and Doughnuts. Selling slices of Pizza and doughnuts at $2 ends up making tons of money towards your Relay goal. At the end of the bake sale, we take the initial $50 back to help finance the next team's bake sale, but the rest the money helps you and your reach your fundraising goals. Additionally, a table is provided. All you have to do is make sure there are people there to work it! Friday bake sales for the year have been claimed, but if you're interested in hosting a bake sale on a different night or something similar, feel free to contact us!

Exec Chairs at our Boys Bid Night Bake Sale

Throughout the year, the fundraising committee also sets up restaurant/bar nights for teams to host. Our committee contacts the businesses, sets up the time and date of the event, and the logistics of the event. Your team is responsible for having people there to run the event and publicize it! All the money made from the night goes directly into your team account! Although we're still in the works of setting up restaurant/bar nights for the year, we plan of having events at places such as Chipotle, Sweet Frog, Biltmore, and many more!

Fundraising Committee at our Boylan Bar Night in the fall

All teams are also encouraged to set up their own fundraisers, whether it be on a personal level or a team level. Personal/team fundraisers should be unique, and be easy to produce and gain a profit from. For example, Keelin Sweeney launched a Buttons for Hope campaign this year. The buttons cost less than a dollar to make, and are a great way for people to show who they Relay for. Some of you may have seen last week's post, talking about how Lana Hoang launched Hair Ties For A Cure last year. Lana saw how the hair ties were a popular product and started producing them herself and selling them at a lower price. Rachel Kappel sold "Keep Calm and Relay On" T-shirts last year, based off of the popular "Keep calm and Carry" on WW2 posters. These are just a few examples of personal fundraisers people started up. If you need feedback or have an idea, feel free to contact either Liz, my Fundraising Committee co-chair, or myself.

Finally, throughout the year the Fundraising Committee puts on multiple events. In many of these events, the winning team gets the money put into their Relay account. In March, Relay will be hosting March Madness, in which teams will compete against each other to see who can raise the most on a week by week basis. The winning team will have money donated to their Relay account! Another event is the Vermonster Challenge, which is an ice cream eating contest to see which team can eat 20 scoops of ice cream plus toppings the fastest. The top team gets part the money raised donated to their Relay goals! These are just a few of the events we'll be hosting this year! Keep an eye out on our facebook page for events and updates.

Vermonster Challenge Fall 2013

Trying to set and reach a fundraising goal can seem extremely difficult at first, but with some creativity it can easy and fun. These are just a few fundraising opportunities you have! Check out our fundraisers available for teams to take on and make them their own! If you have any other ideas other than what's listed above, go for it. Just let us know and we can help you publicize it to make it bigger and better! If you have any questions, feel free to contact either Liz Watson, at eww5cu@virginia.edu, or myself,  at ta4ac@virginia.edu, anytime! Good luck with fundraising and let's Finish the Fight! 

With RelayLove,

Tahir Ahmad '16

Fundraising Committee Co-Chair

WORRY OR FAITH

Every Sunday, my family gathers at my grandparents’ house for a good meal and hearty laughs. All of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and their kids would be together doing anything, whether it be playing outside or watching TV or telling stories or more often than not, discussing food. I am blessed to live so close to my family and throughout my life I was influenced by the best people. My grandpa was a charismatic, compassionate man with the most radiant of smiles. My family is big and loud and a little crazy, as many families are, so my grandpa’s soothing nature was enough to keep us calm when we needed to be. And he was the most hip grandpa ever. He had the best sense of style with his love for bright colors and classy, cool looks.

He had that wise man aura because of all that he had been through but we all know that he had a young spirit and soul. When we went to Mexico with him and my grandma, they were always the ones who stayed up the latest and woke up earliest, wanting to get the most out of the vacation. We ate like kings, got nice and tan, and my grandpa agreed to go into the crystal blue water—the first time that he had been in an ocean in over 60 years. Great memories were made on this last vacation that we took with him. Below is a picture of him and my grandma during the trip. My wish for everyone is that they find love like the two of them did.

In September 2011, my grandpa was diagnosed with gastric cancer. My family was shocked as this was the first time someone so close to us had been diagnosed. It was tough for us handle it, but we had all of us there and wonderful friends as support. We already spent a lot of time together but everyone started spending even more with him and we learned to truly cherish every moment we spent as a family. My grandpa was very strong and didn’t like to show pain, so when it started becoming noticeable that he was suffering, it was hard on all of us. He stopped asking so frequently for high-fives and picking up the babies to tickle their feet with the stubble on his chin. The little amount of hair that he loved to meticulously comb was buzzed off one day. Eventually he became too weak to wave hi or talk much, but the way his eyes lit up when we came to spend time with him said it all. I always felt bad when he could sense my stress and worry even when I tried to hide it, but that was always one of his powers. Throughout my life he would tell me that I shouldn’t worry, that I was going to do great things. He always believed in me.

My grandpa passed away on January 25^th, 2013 right around his birthday and Chinese New Year. He battled cancer for almost a year and a half, which was much longer than the doctors had predicted. Many people tell us that he was with us longer because of all of the love that he was surrounded by. We miss him dearly but we know that he is still supporting all of us, watching over us, protecting us.

But I am not only participating in Relay for Life for my grandpa. I am Relaying for everyone because we have all been impacted by cancer in some way. I want people to have hope that our posterity will live in a world without cancer. People often don’t believe in a cure for cancer, thinking that only a miracle would create one; however, I know that there are great minds at work, miracles in the making.

I like the quote "There isn't enough room in your mind for both worry and faith. You must decide which will live there." I know it's hard not to worry about loved ones, and I find myself guilty of it as well, but the most important thing is to really believe that things will get better and to commit to the fight.

With RelayLove, 

Schyler Pa '17

Logistics Committee

SAY HELLO TO OUR BIG SIS WEEK FUNDRAISER!

Sorority ladies, Big Sis Week is upon us. With the first few of 16 Big Sis Weeks starting in just over a week, Relay For Life is super excited to announce our Big Sis Week fundraiser! We can't wait to help you spoil your little AND help finish the fight! Our fundraiser is broken into three parts: Sweethaus Bakery, Hair Ties For A Cure, and University Tees!

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Sweethaus Cupcakes

We are really excited to have partnered with Sweethaus Bakery to bring you Vanilla, Chocolate, Red Velvet, Mochacchino, Cookies-n-Creme and more flavors available for day-of-delivery to your sorority house! Cupcakes are $2.50 each. Place your order HERE.

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Hair Ties For A Cure

It's always exciting to partner with a personal fundraiser for a Relay-wide fundraiser - and we couldn't be more excited that Lana Hoang's Hair Ties For A Cure is helping us with Big Sis Week this year! Hair Ties has tons of colors, glitters, and patterns in your sorority colors, plus any other colors you may want! Check out their Facebook page to take a look at some of the sorority combinations that they have put together. Hair Ties are $2.00 each. Place your order HERE.

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University Tees Sorority & Relay T-Shirts and Cups

University Tees has created a one of a kind Relay For Life and UVA InterSorority Council t-shirt design for us! Order it for you and your little (available to sorority women of all chapters and years!) University Tees is offering a 15% discount on a future order for the sorority that comes in first place with sales, a 10% discount to the chapter that comes in second place, and a 5% discount to the chapter that comes in third! Additionally, the winning chapter's Relay For Life team will win food lane fast passes at Relay (April 11th, 2014)! 

Orders close on MARCH 24th and t-shirts and cups will be available for pickup at the final Team Captain's meeting on April 7th! Place your order HERE.

 

(Click on images to enlarge)

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We can't wait to help you all spoil your littles! Look out for reminder emails in your chapter and be sure to support Relay For Life at UVA!

With RelayLove,

FUNDRAISING FRIDAY: HAIRTIES FOR A CURE!

One of the coolest parts of Relay For Life is seeing all the different ways people come up with to fundraise. Some of the coolest fundraising ideas come from team captains and team members who get super creative. 

Lana Hoang, a fourth year Biomedical Engineering major, member of Relay For Life's Fundraising Committee, and captain of Team VSA, founded Hair Ties For A Cure over a year ago as her personal fundraiser. Her success has been incredible! Relay For Life sat down with her to bring you our very first Fundraising Friday post and ask her how she did it!

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Relay For Life: What prompted you to start Hair Ties for a Cure? How did you come up with the idea for Hair Ties?

Lana Hoang: I was searching for a personal fundraiser that would be able to make a big impact, but was easy to do. Inspired by the preppy style at UVA and of course, Pinterest, I thought the hair ties would make a great fundraiser! Also, most boutiques were selling the hair ties for $3+ each, so I felt offering them at a lower price and for a great cause, I couldn't go wrong! (Hair Ties For A Cure sell for $2 each and ALL proceeds go to Relay For Life at UVA and the American Cancer Society).

RFL: How old is Hair Ties for a Cure?

LH: Hair Ties For A Cure started in January 2013

RFL: What is the most important thing you have learned from your personal fundraiser?

LH: The most important thing I have learned from Hair Ties is to not be afraid to ask people for help, or if they would be interested in buying hair ties! Personally I am not in Greek Life, so it has been great interacting with those involved, especially with the ISC and the different sororities, to spread the word about Hair Ties to the Greek community. 

RFL: What has been the biggest obstacle in creating, building, and running Hair Ties for a Cure?

LH: Making the hair ties is the biggest challenge, since the whole project of Hair Ties for a Cure is an individual, self-run fundraiser. Ordering the materials and handmaking each hair tie (measuring, cutting, tying, and burning edges to prevent fraying) takes lots of time, especially with such a variety of colors and patterns available! 

RFL: What was the most exciting thing that has happened since starting Hair Ties for a Cure?

LH: In Fall 2013, we were sold in Darling Boutique on the Downtown Mall, which was a cool experience to have my product actually in a store!

RFL: What is one thing you wish you had known when you started Hair Ties for a Cure?

LH: I wish I had known how time consuming it would be! Once orders are placed, I coordinate times with individuals to meet up to exchange, but often times it can be hard to coordinate times, or to even get a response back after an order has been placed.

RFL: Any advice to people who want to start their own personal Relay fundraiser?

LH: Don't be afraid to share your ideas with others, whether it be your Relay committee members, teammates, or just your friends! I remember brainstorming the potential of Hair Ties For A Cure with friends and it really helped to bounce ideas off of one another and establish a foundation for the fundraiser. Also, don't be afraid to ask for help! Whether it is sending a blurb out on a listserve, or posting in a Facebook group, the Relay community is willing to help your fundraiser and they won't know you'll need help until you ask!

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Hair Ties for a Cure is part of our larger Big Sis Week Fundraiser this spring! Spoil your little AND help finish the fight!

To order, fill out this form. Or like Hair Ties on Facebook!

With RelayLove,

THE FACES OF CANCER

Cancer affects everyone. I know this seems obvious and self-explanatory, but I think we often forget this. My first real memories of cancer date back to my childhood when I lost my grandfather to lung cancer. For a long time, he was the only person I had known with cancer, and as an eight year old girl, I just assumed that cancer is something only old people get. As I grew up, I became increasingly aware of how cancer touches the lives of so many people, both young and old.

Today, February 4, is World Cancer Day, a day where we engage in an open dialogue about cancer by honoring those who have battled and won, remembering those who lost the fight, and by moving forward towards the day when World Cancer Day will be a celebration of finding the cure for this disease. In the spirit of this year’s theme of debunking the cancer myths, I wanted to share some of my favorite “Relay Moments” that remind me daily of Why I Relay.

Dear 16 Year Old Me

I like this video because I think it’s both powerful and informative.  Before watching this I would have never thought that at 20 I would be at risk of malignant melanoma, let alone from that one bad sunburn three summers ago. This video highlights the reality of who cancer touches, the vast age range and the infinite faces of cancer – fighters, survivors, doctors, nurses, loved ones, etc.

Brave

This video is amazing. You can’t help but just have the biggest smile on your face the whole time. The Pediatric Hematology/Oncology unit at this hospital made a video to Sara Bareilles’ Brave and that’s just what these kids are – brave. It is easy to sometimes forget or try to ignore that children suffer from cancer, just like adults. This video demonstrates that while some children do battle cancer, they are still able to live out a somewhat normal childhood with a big smile and an insurmountable strength.

The Battle We Didn’t Choose

Last year, while perusing the internet during yet another boring lecture, I came across this site and started scrolling through the photo gallery instead of the lecture slides. Note to self: it becomes pretty obvious that you aren’t reading psych slides when you start tearing up while looking at your laptop. Anyways, this blog had a poignant message. Angelo documented his wife’s entire battle with breast cancer through stunning black and white photographs. The photos are so moving and powerful and I felt like I was in his place living through the highs and lows of his wife’s entire journey, from the diagnosis to the final snapshot of her battle.

#Kuykenstrong

So I may be biased, but I think I saved the best for last. I know Shawn. In fact, while I always Relay in memory of my grandfather, this year I Relay for Shawn. Shawn was my soccer coach for 9 years and is the older brother I never had. This past summer, Shawn was diagnosed with Stage 4 thymus cancer and The Washington Post followed Shawn, a former soccer player for DC United, around for parts of his journey, interviewing him and his family. The video exposes his true vulnerabilities, especially when he claims, “I just want to live,” but it serves as an incredible example of the positive outlook on life that one can live by while in the midst of adversity. It inspires me to live my daily life with the same love of life, passion, faith and bravery that Shawn exhibits in his fight against cancer.

With Relaylove,

Meghan Dalbec '16

Corporate Sponsorship Chair

PS I know that last one is hard to watch/read. So here’s an additional video that is sure to put a smile on your face if not make you laugh. 

WILL YOU TAKE THE CHALLENGE?

Happy Relay season! 

Relay For Life at UVA is so excited to be back for the spring semester. We have 67 days until our big event on April 11-12th - and those 67 days are PACKED! We have so many exciting fundraisers and events to bring to Grounds and we can't wait to get started. To kick off the semester with a bang, we are challenging our participants and teams in two huge ways. 

The first challenge is our Freshman 15 Challenge! Be the first to recruit 15 new members to your team and win $50 towards your personal fundraising goal. That's $200 for your team's fundraising goal between personal donations and prize money!

Our second challenge is our 100 for $100 pledge! We want 100 people to pledge to raise $100 in the month of February. That's $10,000 all together for Relay For Life at UVA! 

Join us! Take the pledge here.

We can't wait to see what this semester has in store. Be sure to follow our calendar for upcoming events and check out our "GET INVOLVED" tab to find ways to join us in the fight, ideas to start fundraising, and more!

Finally, follow along on our journey here on our blog! We have tons of exciting fundraising ideas, Relay stories, and events to tell you about - so stay tuned!

With Relaylove,