Experiencing the
atmosphere of my first Relay For Life event was when I first truly looked back
on my own understanding of cancer. Relay for me all began as a team-bonding
event and quickly turned into a cause I would be passionate about until this
very day. The Luminaria ceremony, and every lap after, brought forth memories I
had never really put a lot of thought into. For those of you who have never
participated in a Luminaria ceremony it is one of the most powerful experiences
you can imagine. The light of hundreds
of candles lined up around the track and remembering and honoring those who
have been affected by cancer makes you consider your own personal experiences
while at the same time motivating you to make a difference. My first Luminaria ceremony made me realize I
never really understood my first encounter with cancer; nor had I ever
considered the effects it has had on me, and my family, every day since.
I was about 7 or
8 years old when my Uncle Lai was diagnosed with lung cancer around 2001. As young kids, my siblings and I couldn’t
really comprehend what cancer was, nor what was going on within our family.
Growing up in
northern Virginia my maternal family was blessed to live relatively close to
one another and to our grandparents. I
remember always seeing them, whether it was for a birthday, a holiday, lunch,
or an impromptu gathering we would see all our aunts and uncles, cousins, and
grandparents at least twice a month – if not more. And at every single one of
these gatherings my siblings and I would always kiss our aunts, uncles, and
grandparents on the cheek upon arrival and prior to leaving. I don’t remember when exactly my Uncle was
diagnosed with lung cancer, nor the conversation when my parents described the
situation to us, but at every family gathering after that I remember him
getting worse and worse. The only way I
can describe the feelings of my childhood self was that he was slowly
deteriorating and I was scared to be near him.
To this day all I can feel is a sense of shame for the way I felt and
for being scared to approach him. Even
though I was young at the time, I will never be able to overcome the
embarrassment I feel for having that sense of fear.
I don’t remember
the day Uncle Lai lost his battle with cancer but I clearly remember the impact
it had on my family. My Uncle was the
father to three wonderful kids, and three wonderful cousins – two older girls,
Helen and Lanna, and one younger boy, Sean. I remember the effects of my Uncle’s
passing most prominently on my cousin Sean, my younger brother Ben, and my own
immediate family. Ben and Sean were only
a year apart and shared the common identity of being the youngest and only boys
in families of older sisters. That
commonality, coupled with the passing of my Uncle made them closer than
cousins, they became brothers – he became our brother.
Uncle Lai’s
passing changed the dynamic of our family.
So much so that I can no longer remember a time when Sean wasn’t
constantly involved in our own family activities. Sean and Ben would hang out
all the time, taking turns staying over at our house or my Aunt’s house, going
out to dinner with us, or tagging along on other family outings. We were all very young then but I remember
our parents, my twin sister, and I worrying about Sean growing up without his
dad. Sometimes we could see him having
trouble when he was with us so we went to even greater lengths to include him
in things or keep him busy. My own parents encouraged him to give soccer and
Boy Scouts a try, and of course, Ben and Sean did everything together.
Growing up would
not have been the same without Sean. He knows our family inside and out and he’s
been there for all the ups and downs. But that doesn’t take away from the fact
that Sean and his sisters should not have had to grow up without their dad. Even
though Uncle Lai may not be with us here today, we know he’s always watching
over us as our family continues to grow.
I firmly believe
everything happens for a reason. Were it not for my Uncle’s passing and the
profound effect it had on my family I would not be as passionate as I am about
Relay today. His passing has been a constant reminder that each day is a
blessing – a blessing that a lot of us forget about sometimes. Seeing the effects of cancer on my own life, and
how it impacts all those bravely fighting this disease each and every day, is a
constant reminder of how lucky many of us are to be here, living the lives we
live.
Throughout the
years I’ve seen how cancer has affected my own family and the wider communities
I am a part of. But I have also seen the positive difference the American
Cancer Society and organizations like Relay For Life have made. Relay For Life
and the ACS have shown me how simple it is to make a difference in the life of
someone affected by cancer; not only giving them support and a greater chance
of beating this terrible disease, but giving them Hope.
I Relay for my
family and for all those fighting to keep their families whole. I Relay so that
no child should ever have to be scared of someone battling cancer. I Relay
because all children deserve to grow up with their parents, grandparents,
aunts, uncles, siblings, and friends. I Relay because my actions can make a
difference, even if it’s just one more smile, one more ray of Hope, in the
fight against cancer.
Live each day to
the fullest and never forget that you can make a difference – no matter what it
is or how small it may be, it means the world to someone out there.
RelayLove,
