Wednesday, October 1, 2014

THE LETTER "F"


There have been several instances of cancer in my family, but nothing hit harder than when it was my mom’s turn to fight. One night during the spring of my senior year of high school, my mom complained about how uncomfortable her bra felt. I don’t think anyone really thought much about it and I know that I assumed it was simply too tight. After that night, she was still feeling uneasy about the whole thing, so she decided to go to the doctor. An irritating bra from a few days before led to a 3D mammogram. When that showed something, she then had to get three biopsies. Shortly after that, a conclusion was made: the uncomfortable bra corresponded to breast cancer, and someone pressed the fast forward button on our lives.


When I was first told the news, all I felt was shock and confusion.  The pain and sadness didn’t hit me until I accompanied my mom to an appointment with her surgeon. That day may have been the worst day of my life.  

I didn’t originally plan on going to the appointment with my mom, but my dad had to be at the office for a bit longer and I wanted to be there for her. After she got called back to see the doctor, things got hazy. Her surgeon was bursting with bad news: the cancer may be spreading, we needed to act quickly, she was going to have to do a full mastectomy, and there would never be a 100% guarantee that it wouldn’t come back. It was during this appointment that reality hit me straight in the face. Something was trying to kill my mom, and losing her was a real possibility. When I got home I sobbed for an hour straight, leaving my face, hair and pillow soaked.  

After that day, it never really got easier, but it also never really got worse. June 26, 2014 was my mom’s birthday, but more importantly, her one-year anniversary of being cancer-free. Every night before she goes to bed, my mom does her hormone treatment that in effect, makes her body ache and is now causing some minor hair loss. Despite all of this, however, she has not backed down to cancer and the letter “f” necklace she wears every day is a reminder of that. The letter “f” on her necklace stands for many things: her maiden name (Flannery), her ability to get through cancer with great faith, family and friends, and the fact that, even with one breast, she is still as funny and fabulous as before. She will also continue to fight and, should the cancer ever come out of remission, tell it to f-off!  

We live in a world where everyone knows someone who has been affected by cancer and with that said, I relay for life. I relay for a world with more birthdays. I relay so that no one has to lose his or her mom to cancer like I almost did.  I know the fight to end cancer is far from over, but I relay with the hope that we can get that much closer to living in a world free of cancer. I relay for my best friend, my number one supporter, my mom.


With RelayLove, 
Gwendolyn Apgar
Publicity Committee 

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