#KUYKENSTRONG

It started as a simple hashtag. It marked the beginning of a new adventure and foretold the long fight that lay ahead. In the summer of 2013, Shawn Kuykendall, my soccer coach of eight years, was diagnosed with stage IV thymus cancer. Shawn was more than just my coach; he was my mentor, my confidant, my friend, and the older brother I never had. On his first day of chemo, Shawn posted this photo to Instagram announcing his battle with cancer and foreshadowing the strength and tenacity he would maintain throughout his long journey.

A new adventure begins. #KuykenStrong

For Shawn, this wasn’t just another bump in the road, it was a new adventure – and that is exactly how Shawn approached each new struggle that cancer threw his way. As Shawn’s treatment progressed, the Instagrams continued to come and “#kuykenstrong” took on a life of its own. Sadly, after eight long months, Shawn passed away, but he left behind the legacy that is #kuykenstrong. For those who knew Shawn and those who were rooting for him, #kuykenstrong was so much more than just a simple hashtag. At Shawn’s memorial service, his family distributed “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelets to all those who attended as a way to remember Shawn and provide a tangible connection to him every day.

Now it’s been a year since Shawn passed away. It’s been a year since I received my “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet and not a day has gone by that I have not worn it. My “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet isn’t just a connection to Shawn, it’s a reminder. It’s a reminder of Shawn’s incredible character and unwavering fight. It’s a reminder of how I should strive to live my life each and every day.

It’s a reminder to never take myself too seriously. Shawn was known for his sense of humor and whether he was telling Laffy Taffy jokes during water breaks or coining new terms like “bazilly”, I can honestly say I never walked away from being with Shawn without having laughed at least once. He knew when and how to laugh at himself, and in watching him laugh at himself (and sometimes me), I learned how to do the same. I learned that the most embarrassing things are often the funniest. So whether I am walking into walls or wiping out in a room full of people, you can find me with a smile on my face and breaking out into laughter. When I start to take everything too seriously, all I have to do is look down at my “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet and I am immediately reminded that whatever I’m facing isn’t the end of the world.

My “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet is a reminder of unyielding faith. Throughout his entire battle with cancer, Shawn never gave up hope. He trusted in God and believed that God had a plan. His unwavering faith in the face of such great adversity is a constant inspiration to me and I hope that in the most difficult of times, I, too, can demonstrate this insurmountable faith and trust. When it seems like nothing is going as planned, I simply turn to my bracelet as a reminder that there is a greater plan and that everything happens for a reason.

"Chemo Daggers" #KuykenStrong 

Most importantly, it’s a reminder to never give up. In the near decade I knew Shawn, I never saw him give up. He never gave up on his dreams despite the countless injuries that ended his professional soccer career. He never gave up during his fight with cancer and he fought until the very end. To me, #kuykenstrong will always represent a never-ending fight. Each day that I wear my “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet, I am reminded to never give up and fight through every challenge thrown my way, no matter how big or small. Shawn showed me the importance of not letting small obstacles in life stop me from succeeding; he taught me that to make it in life, I needed to tough it out at the hardest moments because in the end everything would work out. Whether it’s a run that’s kicking my ass or a day where everything seems to be going wrong, I remind myself of Shawn’s determination and fighting spirit and motivate myself to push through and work that much harder. While my challenges may not be as life or death as Shawn’s cancer was, I keep fighting just like he did.

So what is #kuykenstrong? To me, #kuykenstrong embodies Shawn – his faith, his humor, his Fa'Shawnable attire, his spirit, and so much more. My “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet reminds me of all the life lessons Shawn taught me; it reminds me that Shawn is always with me; and, it reminds me why I Relay. I Relay because for too many people, cancer finishes the fight. I Relay to remember and celebrate the lives of everyone I have lost to cancer and work to help finish their fights. I Relay because today, and every day, I am #kuykenstrong.

P.S. To learn more about Kuykenstrong, Shawn, and the foundation that is carrying out his final wishes, please look at their website

RelayLove, 

Meghan Dalbec

TAKING BACK THE MEMORIES

Esta Faye - a mother, a grandmother, a radiant smile, an inspiration, an independent woman, and a fighter. Although I do not remember all of the details, I do remember the time spent with her - always surrounded by her joyful nature - whenever I visited her house at the beach in Charleston, SC. From encouraging my unhealthy obsession with Play-doh and Thomas the Tank Engine to  trying to teach me Chinese checkers. From trips to the zoo to trying to the hand-stitched-applique quilt of my family members, which now - 14 years later - I still have. But I learned all too quickly about the bittersweet aspect of life.  In October 1994, 5 months before I was born, she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.

5 years later, in November  of 1999, the cancer returned. To a kindergartener, the concept of cancer is complex. Two years later, on March 25, 2001, I lost my grandmother. At the funeral, I remember my mom telling me it was okay to cry at the funeral. I remember watching all of the adults cry except for me. I had no emotional understanding of what cancer had done.  I remember that of all the things to be upset about, my 6-year-old self was devastated that I had lost my perfect attendance at school. I was too young, as far too many of us are when we lose a grandparent to cancer, to understand the true impact of what had been lost by me and my family.

But as I have grown older, there is one loss that stands out the most: time. Time, I missed out on making memories that my siblings have of spending summers in Myrtle Beach with Nanny. All the inside jokes Sarah and Nanny had - like when they told people they were going outside to drink by the woodpile. The time where she peed her pants in terror after a parrot in a beach convenience store talked to her. Or the terrible fishing accident in which my sister Judy’s hook attached to her shirt, ripping it off.  I remember my grandmother second-hand through my older siblings; I have their memories of laughter and joy, and I try to take their memories as my own. But it falls short of what I deserve to know about her.

But, I believe nanny would be proud, for we have never forgotten her love and her humour. The latter in which I wish I could have experienced with maturity, but I share this obsession with nanny’s favorite holiday movie, actually I obsess over it year round, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. As Clark Griswold says,  “We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.” The time has come that when cancer comes knocking at our door that it encounters “the jolliest bunch of assholes” because we can finally beat cancer and get right back to making memories.

Right now, I am ready to end this epidemic that removed a fearless woman. Despite being dragged through a storm twice, she empowered us to live with never ending hope and to never back down. So now, I Relay. I Relay so that my kids will have their own memories of their grandmother instead of having to rely on second-hand stories. They deserve the time to make the memories. I Relay for breast cancer free lifestyles in Esta’s five beautiful daughters and granddaughters. I Relay for my cousins and their children, so they can experience more of Esta’s love through their beautiful mothers and grandmothers. I Relay because cancer can’t take the love and memories of our loved ones, and we should not allow it to take it from children.

RelayLove, 

Tyler Williams