Wednesday, March 25, 2015

WHY DO YOU RELAY?

I don’t even know where to begin. The dreaded question, “Why do you Relay?” is more loaded than most people realize. I can neither bear simplifying my answer to just one family member, nor quantify the pain and fear cancer causes. I will try my best at listing a handful of reasons why I have spent my past four years at the University participating, fundraising, and publicizing for Relay For Life.

When I was seven, my aunt Sue (my mom’s sister) was diagnosed for the third time with cancer. She beat Hodgkins Lymphoma, Breast Cancer, and was now facing Lung Cancer. Unfortunately, she was in Florida and my parents were waiting for a school holiday or a better prognosis to visit her.  I remember the day I came home from school and my mom was there at an unusual hour. “Your aunt went up to the angels today”, she told us. It took a few minutes for that statement to register with my 7-year-old self, but it was one I would never forget. Some people may think that a child cannot understand pain and death, but I learned and felt its immense sadness at an early age. 

My sister and me at the bench dedicated to my Aunt Sue in Florida 
My mom’s other sister, Aunt Jean, fought Leukemia (which was allegedly caught just a few days before it would have killed her). I can’t say I remember her time at the hospital since I was pretty young, but I know she had one of the toughest battles. I do remember helping her pick out wigs for her newly bald head, helping her cope with the absence of her long auburn-colored hair.

Less than 10 years after my Aunt Susan passed away, it was my mom’s turn to fight this awful terror. Learning from family experience, my mom (Barb) was routine about getting check-ups, including mammograms. In June 2009, the doctors found a small tumor in her breast. She had surgery and radiation that summer. My mother – a single, full-time mother working over 40 hours a week for the government and taking care of two demanding teenage daughters – showed primary concern in others. Upon diagnosis, she immediately emailed her friends and family and urged them to be tested routinely. Early detection saves lives. She is truly my hero.  In comparison to many stories, my mom is lucky and we know it. But I want to see a day when catching cancer early and beating it isn’t lucky, but guaranteed. 

Me and my wonderful mom 
The beginning of this school year, my mother’s cousin, “Aunt Kathy”, lost her battle to esophageal cancer. She had already beaten breast cancer, the case eerily similar to my mom’s. This year, I am relaying in honor of her, my sports-loving, down to earth, never-missed-a-birthday, caring Aunt.

I wish the list could end with my mom’s side of the family, but it does not. My smart, kind Grandma Dottie beat breast cancer gracefully several years ago. On the other dark side of the coin, Grandpa Milt lost a long battle with pancreatic cancer during the fall of my second year at UVA. Seeing the 6’4” patriarch of the Addison clan fall to this disease (which is one of the most deadly) was terrifying.

Me and Grandpa Milt at my high school graduation party 
Saying goodbye to Grandpa Milt, Aunt Kathy, Aunt Sue, and other loved ones does not get easier. I have been beyond grateful for the support of my friends and family while going through these losses at school.

Now it is my turn to fight. I know the odds. My genetic background is not in my favor. I’m told most things I consume are carcinogens. I have had my share of radiation poisoning with dozens of X-Rays. I’ve heard the survival rates. I know the likelihood for reoccurrence. Yes, things are improving with the research of ACS and other organizations. But I can tell you that I am damn scared about my future.  

I relay for my entire family: those who have had cancer and won, those who have tragically lost, and those who face imminent uncertainty. I relay for my friends. I relay for my future. I relay for all of us.

Me in the Relay Morph Suit 
If you would like to help me reach my fundraising goal or join me in this fight on April 10th, click here.

RelayLove, 

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

#KUYKENSTRONG

It started as a simple hashtag. It marked the beginning of a new adventure and foretold the long fight that lay ahead. In the summer of 2013, Shawn Kuykendall, my soccer coach of eight years, was diagnosed with stage IV thymus cancer. Shawn was more than just my coach; he was my mentor, my confidant, my friend, and the older brother I never had. On his first day of chemo, Shawn posted this photo to Instagram announcing his battle with cancer and foreshadowing the strength and tenacity he would maintain throughout his long journey.

A new adventure begins. #KuykenStrong

For Shawn, this wasn’t just another bump in the road, it was a new adventure – and that is exactly how Shawn approached each new struggle that cancer threw his way. As Shawn’s treatment progressed, the Instagrams continued to come and “#kuykenstrong” took on a life of its own. Sadly, after eight long months, Shawn passed away, but he left behind the legacy that is #kuykenstrong. For those who knew Shawn and those who were rooting for him, #kuykenstrong was so much more than just a simple hashtag. At Shawn’s memorial service, his family distributed “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelets to all those who attended as a way to remember Shawn and provide a tangible connection to him every day.


Now it’s been a year since Shawn passed away. It’s been a year since I received my “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet and not a day has gone by that I have not worn it. My “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet isn’t just a connection to Shawn, it’s a reminder. It’s a reminder of Shawn’s incredible character and unwavering fight. It’s a reminder of how I should strive to live my life each and every day.
It’s a reminder to never take myself too seriously. Shawn was known for his sense of humor and whether he was telling Laffy Taffy jokes during water breaks or coining new terms like “bazilly”, I can honestly say I never walked away from being with Shawn without having laughed at least once. He knew when and how to laugh at himself, and in watching him laugh at himself (and sometimes me), I learned how to do the same. I learned that the most embarrassing things are often the funniest. So whether I am walking into walls or wiping out in a room full of people, you can find me with a smile on my face and breaking out into laughter. When I start to take everything too seriously, all I have to do is look down at my “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet and I am immediately reminded that whatever I’m facing isn’t the end of the world.


My “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet is a reminder of unyielding faith. Throughout his entire battle with cancer, Shawn never gave up hope. He trusted in God and believed that God had a plan. His unwavering faith in the face of such great adversity is a constant inspiration to me and I hope that in the most difficult of times, I, too, can demonstrate this insurmountable faith and trust. When it seems like nothing is going as planned, I simply turn to my bracelet as a reminder that there is a greater plan and that everything happens for a reason.

"Chemo Daggers" #KuykenStrong 

Most importantly, it’s a reminder to never give up. In the near decade I knew Shawn, I never saw him give up. He never gave up on his dreams despite the countless injuries that ended his professional soccer career. He never gave up during his fight with cancer and he fought until the very end. To me, #kuykenstrong will always represent a never-ending fight. Each day that I wear my “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet, I am reminded to never give up and fight through every challenge thrown my way, no matter how big or small. Shawn showed me the importance of not letting small obstacles in life stop me from succeeding; he taught me that to make it in life, I needed to tough it out at the hardest moments because in the end everything would work out. Whether it’s a run that’s kicking my ass or a day where everything seems to be going wrong, I remind myself of Shawn’s determination and fighting spirit and motivate myself to push through and work that much harder. While my challenges may not be as life or death as Shawn’s cancer was, I keep fighting just like he did.


So what is #kuykenstrong? To me, #kuykenstrong embodies Shawn – his faith, his humor, his Fa'Shawnable attire, his spirit, and so much more. My “KUYKENSTRONG” bracelet reminds me of all the life lessons Shawn taught me; it reminds me that Shawn is always with me; and, it reminds me why I Relay. I Relay because for too many people, cancer finishes the fight. I Relay to remember and celebrate the lives of everyone I have lost to cancer and work to help finish their fights. I Relay because today, and every day, I am #kuykenstrong.



P.S. To learn more about Kuykenstrong, Shawn, and the foundation that is carrying out his final wishes, please look at their website


RelayLove, 

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